Born out of a culture where arousal is often seen as bad, wrong or shameful, finding pleasure, is like being an apprentice, with no expert to learn from. We are given a tool to work with and left in the dark, with no instructions. Where is the education in that?
“Human beings are naturally resilient, so does pleasure really matter?”
We often stumble upon our “turn on’s” by chance. We are so happy to find pleasure or someone else with the skills to turn us on, that it seems inappropriate to stop and ask ourselves, why does that work?
It is true that skills are learned and refined through practice. But, the mystery surrounding pleasure can cause us to hold our turn on’s too tightly. Once found, an effective “turn on” can be repeated, worn out, and over used, until it doesn’t work anymore. Or, until by chance, we stumble upon a more precious gem to replace it.
At any stage of our life, a trauma or challenging experience may place restraints or barriers upon our pleasure. This could manifest in early life before our erotic awareness has even formed. But are these barriers perceived or set in stone? With the right guidance and tools can we overcome them? Can we find, regain and sustain pleasure, despite life’s intrusions?
What do you notice about your arousal? Given the choice, is there anything that you would change? Do you feel confident? Is there enough choice within your intimacy? Do you have the variety that you truly desire? How important is pleasure to you?
…As human beings we are naturally adaptable and resilient, so how important is it? Do we need pleasure in our lives? Does “getting turned on” really matter?
What do you think?
Love Dawn x